Oh, what a to-do...! - ITC Kitchens of India

…And never the twain shall meet! (Sob!)

-ITC Kitchens of India

Somewhere outside Odriew Restaurant

A foreigner parks his car outside Odriew Restaurant.  He has been identified for a good-natured prank by the management and ITC Kitchens of India.

Two waiters receive him at the door with a garland of fresh flowers and a tilak. They give the much impressed guest a present. And, would he please leave his shoes at the door? We’re Indians.

The guest removes his shoes and he is told to change in the cloakroom.

Excuse me, change?

The present, he is told, is a men’s wear.

The baffled guest goes to the cloakroom to change, but hello it’s a wide piece of long cloth…what do I do with it?

You wrap it around yourself like a skirt, he is shown, like this. And now drop your pants. (Gasp!)

Excuse me, says the indignant soul.

It’s more comfortable that way when you sit to eat here, he is shown an empty area. 

(Blink, blink!)

What the…? No table, cries the troubled guest.

We’re Indians…

… but of course we serve continental stuff too, he is reassured.

The gent sits down and wonders aloud if this is some kind of a bad joke. The plate is a banana leaf, he says in a higher decibel. (Tsk, tsk)

The waiters, unperturbed, double up their veshtis and serve ladles of soup from steel buckets. 

The gent objects weakly. It’s leaking. I can’t sit, let alone drink from a bowl made of a leaf, he says weeping inconsolably. (Tsk, tsk)

 All this and much else is recorded and uploaded on YouTube.  (Oh, dear!)

 

Not to mention the other guests. All stare down from their tables…

Hey! *They* are on tables! Why am I on the floor? 

Now, the cat lets out a roar: Where’s the blasted manager? (Dear, dear!)

At that, the manager arrives wringing his hands into a knot. He apologizes to the guest saying that a prank was played on him and would he be so kind as to wait for a minute or two and he would be given a table with a poolside view. And might I add: your lunch is on the house with compliments by the management and ITC Kitchens of India.

Thank you.

Enjoy your meal.

Vannakkum.