Waiting on waiters? Oh, dear!

Waiting on waiters? (Tsk, tsk!)

-   ITC Kitchens of India

On a cool and wintery evening at Odriew Restaurant:

A gent saunters in on a cool and wintery evening at Odriew Restaurant. He has been identified for a good humored prank by the management and ITC Kitchens of India.

The good gent makes himself comfortable and opens the menu card to place the order…

And waits…

…and waits…

Patience wearing thin, he looks around.

Not a sign of a waiter.

Just a young lad sweeping the floor… (Oh, dear!)

The guest asks him where the waiters were.

The boy shows him a sign at the counter, which reads:”Self-service”.

Resigned at the short-sightedness of the management, the guest opens the door to the kitchen and reads out his order. (Oh, dear!)

The chef asks him to help himself with the plates and cutlery and to come back after a few minutes to carry the food.  (Hee-haw!)

After what seems to be more than an hour, the good gent carries his food to the table and eats, helping himself to a bottle of water from a table next to his own. (Tsk, tsk)

And then, hello, what’s this? The waiters saunter in and find themselves chairs at a table next to his and are serving each other amidst a lot of fun and laughter!

A mixture of anger, hunger and relief flitter across his face. (Tsk, tsk) 

Tired, he motions to one of them. The man ignores him, pointing once again at the self-service notice. (Tsk, tsk)

At length, patience wearing thin, the man summons the manager.

 All this and much else in between is recorded and uploaded on YouTube. (Dear, dear!)

The waiter proceeds to remove his blazer and don a new and better one and then inquires of the guest:  I am the manager. How may I help you? (Oops!)

The gent pulls out his wallet in disgust and places a thick wad of notes on the table for their “kind hospitality” and proceeds to leave…

At that the real manager comes in wringing his hands and placates him with the assurance that he will be served well if he would be so kind as to wait for a minute or two. 

The chatty waiters then swing into action treating the guest to a feast fit for the Gods with best compliments from the management and ITC Kitchens of India.

How may you be served? ITC Kitchens of India

Guess what you eat with at dinner?

-   ITC Kitchens of India

On a cool, winter evening at Odriew Restaurant:

On a cool, winter evening, a gentleman enters Odriew Restaurant. He has been identified for a good natured prank by the management and ITC Kitchens of India.

The affable middle-aged guest motions to the waiter. The waiter arrives and notes the gent’s order and he politely desires to know the guest’s eating preferences.

(Blink, blink)

The bewildered guest says that he usually eats naan with his fingers! (Hee, haw!) Why, is there a problem?

The waiter proceeds to remove the forks, knives and spoons and keeps a pair of chopsticks on the table. 

(Blink, blink!)

The baffled guest voices his objection and says he needs knives and forks at least. He cannot possibly tear naan with chopsticks.

The waiter smiles enigmatically and retreats with the cutlery.

Bewilderment mounts to consternation as another waiter who the guest summons has similar stipulations.

After pecking on his food with the chopstick he is presented a bill.

 But he hasn’t finished his meal, the man protests! (Dear, dear!)

Driven beyond manic tendencies, the gent demands to speak with the manager. (Tsk, tsk)

All this and much more is recorded and uploaded on YouTube. (Oh, dear!)

At length, the manager arrives apologizing profusely, saying that a joke had been played on him and if he would be so kind as to wait, a table would be made available with the meal on the house by the management and ITC Kitchens of India.

Thank you.

Have a nice meal!

Problems with ITC Kitchens of India?

Problems with ITC Kitchen’s of India?

 

(Tsk, tsk)

On a hot summer’s day at Odriew restaurant:

A family of four enter Odriew restaurant on a hot and sultry afternoon. The good gent has been identified for a good natured prank by the management and ITC Kitchens of India. 

Having settled down, the gent motions the waiter.

The waiter waits patiently for them to arrive at a consensus. At length the gent places the order, to which the waiter asks: how would you prefer your food, bland or spicy?

Definitely bland, the man says instantly, thankful to the waiter for his thoughtfulness. There were two young children, see?

The waiter retreats and arrives shortly thereafter with the hot food. The waiter serves them. But hello, what’s this? The food is not cooked! He wanted cooked food. (Tsk, tsk)

The waiter apologizes and promises to replace the dish. When he arrives with another dish, the gent gives it a good look-over and is dismayed. It’s too oily, he whines. (Dear, dear!)

The waiter once again retreats and re-enters subsequently with another dish. On finding it alright, the gent helps himself generously and then with tears in his eyes and smoke from his ears realizes that it is too spicy. 

 (Oh, dear!)

 Can no one get it right out here, he cries out loud? And tells his family to get up as we’re leaving! (Oh, dear!)

 All this and much else is recorded and uploaded on YouTube. (Tsk, tsk)

The waiter, as if on cue, presents the guest a bill equivalent for a family of four adults in a 5-star hotel.

 (Blink, blink)

At length, the puny cat roars: But we haven’t eaten anything, cries the good gent. He wants to speak with the manager ASAP, he bellows.

At length, the manager arrives and apologizing profusely says that a joke had been played on him by the management and ITC Kitchens of India and if he could wait for a minute or two, he could be a privileged guest with the meal on the house with best compliments from the management and ITC Kitchens of India.

Enjoy your meal.

Have a nice day!

Oh, what a to-do...! - ITC Kitchens of India

…And never the twain shall meet! (Sob!)

-ITC Kitchens of India

Somewhere outside Odriew Restaurant

A foreigner parks his car outside Odriew Restaurant.  He has been identified for a good-natured prank by the management and ITC Kitchens of India.

Two waiters receive him at the door with a garland of fresh flowers and a tilak. They give the much impressed guest a present. And, would he please leave his shoes at the door? We’re Indians.

The guest removes his shoes and he is told to change in the cloakroom.

Excuse me, change?

The present, he is told, is a men’s wear.

The baffled guest goes to the cloakroom to change, but hello it’s a wide piece of long cloth…what do I do with it?

You wrap it around yourself like a skirt, he is shown, like this. And now drop your pants. (Gasp!)

Excuse me, says the indignant soul.

It’s more comfortable that way when you sit to eat here, he is shown an empty area. 

(Blink, blink!)

What the…? No table, cries the troubled guest.

We’re Indians…

… but of course we serve continental stuff too, he is reassured.

The gent sits down and wonders aloud if this is some kind of a bad joke. The plate is a banana leaf, he says in a higher decibel. (Tsk, tsk)

The waiters, unperturbed, double up their veshtis and serve ladles of soup from steel buckets. 

The gent objects weakly. It’s leaking. I can’t sit, let alone drink from a bowl made of a leaf, he says weeping inconsolably. (Tsk, tsk)

 All this and much else is recorded and uploaded on YouTube.  (Oh, dear!)

 

Not to mention the other guests. All stare down from their tables…

Hey! *They* are on tables! Why am I on the floor? 

Now, the cat lets out a roar: Where’s the blasted manager? (Dear, dear!)

At that, the manager arrives wringing his hands into a knot. He apologizes to the guest saying that a prank was played on him and would he be so kind as to wait for a minute or two and he would be given a table with a poolside view. And might I add: your lunch is on the house with compliments by the management and ITC Kitchens of India.

Thank you.

Enjoy your meal.

Vannakkum.

Bedlam at the Helm - Change of Guard

Bedlam at the Helm

Hi! 

As you can see, there is a change of guard. 

You see, I read my mother’s blog the other day, and frankly, I think it sucks, just like some good people have written before me.

My name is Pooja Shriram and I tell a tale pretty neatly. So, I thought I’d chip in if she shipped out! (Heh, heh!)

 I hope you will go along with me to lay the old dog to rest and ring in the new!

In honor of the old, the tradition continues; the change is in the hand…(Blink, blink!)

(Go figure!)

Until the next week, then,

Adieus!